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Sage advice for divorcees who get unsolicited advice

Your announcement that you are getting divorced will inevitably lead to advice and premonitions about what the process will be like. Friends and family may have your best interests at heart, but they may not understand the law when it comes to what you may be entitled to (i.e. property division, custody and parenting time). Nevertheless, this may not stop you from getting unsolicited advice. Moreover, it may not be the best for you, given that it is only based on one’s personal experience.  

With that said, there are certain pieces of advice that you may want to take to heart. This post will identify them.

Be a grown up –Warring couples have the tendency to act like little children during divorce, so name calling, withholding property (and access to kids) tend to have destructive effects.  It may not be in your best interests to be drawn into petty fights over small things.

Your divorce is unique – Every divorce is unique and different, so it is likely that your divorce may not turn out like other divorces you hear about, especially the train wrecks. So take stories (and advice) about other divorces with a grain of salt.  

Know your attorney’s role – While you must disclose very personal details to your attorney, you must remember that he or she is not a therapist. After all, you are paying for their legal expertise, not for their therapeutic skills.

Pick your battles – This is another way to say that not every disagreement must be litigated like a congressional issue. As we said before, litigating small things can cost you more than just money. It can forever damage your relationship with the other parent. 


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